Here are the symptoms:

• I dress like a girl.
• I brush my teeth at least 2 times per day.
• I shower... daily.
• I usually eat three meals, though they aren't always the best.
• I speak my mind.
• I have an expansive vocabulary.
• I am tall.
• I have a broad sense of humor. Some may even call me witty.

The diagnosis:

• I am 24 and unmarried.

There is something out of place. I can't tell you what it is, but I'm sure that one of the symptoms above is the cause of my painfully obvious disease.

Please, I'm begging you. Help me find a cure.