Saturday, November 20, 2010

Perpetually Positive

All my life, I've struggled against my inborn tendency to focus on the negative aspects of my life. My parents have called me a pessimist, and I've clung to the ideology that I'm a realist, whatever that is.

Not anymore.

Even fighting against the huge stress headache that I've got going on right now, I can say quite simply that my life is wonderful. Life is hard, and I'm in a constant struggle to find out what I'm meant to do, but deep down I'm so so happy. I'm happy to sit on my couch on a Saturday morning and listen to the wind rage outside of my little apartment. I'm happy to get ready for the day, not knowing which ways the world will turn to surprise and confuse me. I'm happy to give room in my mind to the infinite possibilities of my life.

Yesterday, I planned a trip to New York. Later, I found out that said trip might not happen, and I was forced to readjust my thinking for a new set of plans. So, I think of Salt Lake - tiny town USA - and all the wonderful things that will happen there if I'm unable to make it to the Big Apple. I cherish unmade memories even more than ones that I've experienced, and tears well in my eyes when I think of all the beautiful things that will happen in my life.

Whether it's here or there, alone or with 8 million other people, I'll create a fantastic life where everything I've dreamed will happen.

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