Em-powered

I tell people that Thursdays are my favorite day of the week. This is true because of Fridays like tonight, where I am left without plans and choose to spend my evening watching a friend tie flies and psychoanalyzing the hoarders on Discovery channel. My reason for loving Thursdays is as follows: I can anticipate the weekend's greatness without the disappointment that none of my lofty plans will come to pass. Where I envisioned corn mazes and an official True Aggie moment, I got "Anne of Green Gables" and an 11:00 curfew. I hope this doesn't sound pessimistic, because I truly relish my weekends, even amidst their lack of excitement.

So tonight, I blog-stalked. My usual favorite left me with tears in my eyes, and I'm here with her resolution in mind. I want my soul to speak the beauty that it knows, something my clumsy frame and awkward sociality do not accurately portray. I'm a beautiful woman, with so much potential and an aching desire to tell the world how great I think it is.

Life fascinates me. There are many moments when I catch myself in a sort of out-of-body view of the world. Since I spend my days working with some children who are unable to control their speech, movements, or both, I am constantly amazed by my ability to think, move, and reason through my days. Human-ness is incredible, and I'm blessed to be able to appreciate both the world and my part in it.

That being said, there are times when I don't feel right. I get angst-y and restless and irritated by others' imperfections (while, at the same time, being fully aware of my many less-than-perfect traits). Call it hormones or premonition, but I'm in one of those slumps right now, unable to figure out just who is this girl named Emily. I'm feeling a bit lost, and I think a list might help re-establish who I really am.

I love to learn. There is nothing better than cracking open a new book or delving into a subject about which I was previously ignorant.

I am a domestic diva at heart. I'm set on creating a picture-perfect home, complete with my homemade delicacies, hand-knit afghans, and floors that shine like the top of the Chrysler Building.

I crave personal time. My love language is definitely quality time, and I am obsessed with measuring and allotting my time for the people whom I love the most. I appreciate one-on-one interactions much more than large group outings, even though I'm a more social person in large groups.

I over-think everything. It's a nasty habit and a constant setback, but I'm very aware of it.

I'm a little bit confused about who I am, but each day I give myself a blank slate with which to create a beautiful story. I am Emily, and I am em-powered by all the things that make me uniquely me.