303 Months

Yesterday, I realized that I have been alive for exactly 303 months. It wasn't anything monumental, but in my numerical mind, it was refreshing to notice just what turned me into the 25-year-and-3-month-old I am today.

I've spent 117 months in public school.
I've spent 36 months in college.
I've spent 2.5 months in Europe.
I've spent 4 months in relationships.
I've spent the past 24 months in the workforce - the last 6 of which have absolutely flown by.

It's pretty simple to whittle all of my major life events into a calendar list, but it also makes me excited for what I have left to achieve.

Most of all, I've realized that not knowing what I'm going to do in the next 303 months of my life is completely okay. I hope that within the next four months I'll be out of Logan or that within the next 36 months I have my car paid off, but other than that, I'm pretty clueless.

It just takes one day at a time to figure it all out.

Schedule

My typical day goes something like this:

• 6:45 – wake up.
• 7:45 – off to work, listening to NPR after finishing my 10-minute regimen with the Today Show.
• 8:00-5:00 – work. It's so boring that I don't have anything else to say about it. Besides this. And, I get an hour for lunch, during which time I've started coming home to watch Ellen. That might be the best hour of the day.
• 5:00 – come home, work out (as of late), fix dinner, eat dinner, watch Jeopardy, debate my “plans” for the rest of the night.
• 8:30-9:30 – realize that the only place I really want to be is in my big, warm, comfortable bed. Hop into my pajamas and get in that place. Watch a TV show or movie/read a book/write on the computer/blog stalk.
• 9:30-10:30 – succumb to fatigue and hit the hay.

It sounds so utterly unproductive, and really it is. I don't care for anyone but myself. I only just started looking for volunteer opportunities and other social outlets that will get me out of the house for more than just my 8-hour workday. Here's the truth, though: I've become a homebody. I'd rather be doing stuff that I love to do than getting froofy and poofy for someone else. I would rather not socialize with the people of Logan (in general; I do have a few friends whom I love dearly). I'm happy (enough) here, and I'm not worried about what I'm missing by staying in. That's all there is to it.

Also, I might have just admitted to watching way more TV than is healthy. Oh well.

ThankYouMorePlease

I haven't written in two months. Nothing has changed.

But, I decided today - after watching a fabulous film - that I need to alter some things. I need to emit some more positive energy towards the universe, in hopes that it will - hopefully - return that energy to me.

So, I'm forgetting about my broken car and my silly job and all the stresses and obsessions that plague me daily.

Instead, I'm choosing this face.

I'm choosing good music, played loudly over my car stereo.

I'm choosing a comfortable bed, chocolate truffles, and sleeping in.

I'm choosing to love myself. To get loved.

Thankyou. Moreplease.